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. You should work in a real kitchen, David said. I d paymoney for this.If I had any. I think you have to go to culinary school for something likethat. Why don t you? Connor looked surprised. Honestly, I ve never thoughtabout it.I just cook occasionally for my family when the moodstrikes.I guess it d be better than flipping burgers.What aboutyou? Any big career plans? 84 David shrugged. Travelling salesman, Greyhound busdriver, cruise ship janitor, border drug runner, anything likethat. Connor chewed in silence for a moment before heunderstood. Travel? Yeah.I have no idea what I want to do, but whatever it is, itwon t be in Kansas. People are people, Connor said. You mean it won t be better anywhere else? Maybe.I d likea chance to find out. Once they finished eating, David jumped up to wash thedishes, eager to show Connor he wasn t completely helpless inthe kitchen.He did his best to put everything back where itbelonged, chuckling over the thought of wiping down the pots toeliminate fingerprints.He even did the dishes by hand so theywouldn t be in the dishwasher.When the kitchen was restored,he turned around and glimpsed the trees beyond the backyard.David yearned to be out there.This house, with its quietestablished style of living, wasn t what he and Connor wereabout.They didn t belong here.He would rather be outside,running through the woods like the lost boys that they were.He turned to Connor, who was watching him as if waitingfor David to speak his thoughts. Let s go for a walk. 85 Chapter EightShawnee Mission Park functioned as an oasis of nature in aland of strip malls and highways.David and Gordon venturedthere occasionally, most recently after watching YouTube videosof people live action role-playing while dressed up Renaissancestyle.This looked like good nerdy fun, so they had given it ashot.Gordon had been serious about it, but David hadn t beenable to stop laughing, so the expedition hadn t exactly been asuccess.The park spread out around Shawnee Mission Lake, a bodyof water large enough for sailing that took about twenty minutesto circle around at the speed limit.David asked Connor to driveto the mountain bike trails at the northern part of the lake.Pavedpaths for pedestrians existed elsewhere, but David preferred themore natural dirt trails. Last time I was here was with Tommy, Connor said as heparked the car. I let him run all over the paths until he worehimself out.Of course by the time we drove home, he was hyperagain. The parking lot was mostly empty, which meant they wouldhave privacy.David breathed in the fresh air once out of the car,wishing the entire world consisted only of him and Connor.As ifreading his thoughts, Connor took his hand, and when theyreached the shelter of the trees, he stopped David to kiss him.Suddenly David wished they hadn t left his mom s house.As unappealing as that environment had been, at least the houseprovided enough privacy for something more to happen.Theidea intimidated him.He didn t know if Connor had slept withother guys, but David s experience began and ended with kissingConnor.Regardless, he wanted more to happen between them,86 but wished he could take a training course first Gay Sex 101 orsomething.In the green light of the woods, David found himselfrelaxing, feeling like he had escaped into a fairytale where all thetroubles of the real world faded away.The sound of cars recededthe farther they walked, replaced by the bird chatter andcreatures foraging through the underbrush. You like it here, Connor said. Yeah.How d you know? Because you re usually tense, like you re waiting forsomething to explode. David shrugged, embarrassed. I don t mean to look thatway. There s nothing wrong with it.It s just weird since you restrong. David glanced over at Connor in disbelief. I m not strong. Really? Are you ashamed of being gay? David increased his grip on Connor s hand. Not at all! There you go.People are always giving you shit for beinggay, but you re not in the closet, and you don t let them makeyou feel ashamed. They still make me miserable, David said. If I pretendedto be straight, I d be even more unhappy.Believe me, people likeChuck get to me.Sometimes I can barely sleep at night. Connor wasn t willing to give up. Taking all that abusethough, not letting it break you.That s strength. Maybe.Sounds more like endurance to me.This isstrength. David s hand slipped away from Connor s and movedup his bicep.Connor flexed it, and they both laughed, althoughDavid was impressed as well.Their hike continued north, the occasional bicycle riderpassing them.They would step aside to let the rider pass, butnever let go of each other.One biker kept his head forward but87 strained to see out of the corner of his eye as he passed.An hourlater and the paths ended, leaving them to slowly pick their waythrough the trees.They went far enough into the woods thatDavid wondered if they would find their way back again.Finally, the trees gave way to water and they could go no farther.A creek wound through the land, filling the air with burbles.On the other side was a line of trees, beyond which a large openfield was barely visible.They walked along the creek until theyfound a patch of bare earth where they could sit, David s feet hotand sore from the hike.He kicked off his shoes before sittingcross-legged on the ground.As soon as he did, Connor leanedover and plopped his head in his lap, an expectant grin on hisface.He closed his eyes when David began stroking his face,sighing contentedly.David moved his fingers over Connor s cheek bones, toyedwith his ears, and then moved his fingers down to his neck.Thescar was flat, a pinkish-white line running from below his ear tojust above his Adam s apple.Now that David knew the reasonsbehind it weren t sinister, he thought it looked kind of cool. Can I touch it? Connor s eyes shot open, searching David s for a moment. Go ahead.It doesn t hurt. David brushed his finger up and down the scar, stroking it asif he could erase it with his touch [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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. You should work in a real kitchen, David said. I d paymoney for this.If I had any. I think you have to go to culinary school for something likethat. Why don t you? Connor looked surprised. Honestly, I ve never thoughtabout it.I just cook occasionally for my family when the moodstrikes.I guess it d be better than flipping burgers.What aboutyou? Any big career plans? 84 David shrugged. Travelling salesman, Greyhound busdriver, cruise ship janitor, border drug runner, anything likethat. Connor chewed in silence for a moment before heunderstood. Travel? Yeah.I have no idea what I want to do, but whatever it is, itwon t be in Kansas. People are people, Connor said. You mean it won t be better anywhere else? Maybe.I d likea chance to find out. Once they finished eating, David jumped up to wash thedishes, eager to show Connor he wasn t completely helpless inthe kitchen.He did his best to put everything back where itbelonged, chuckling over the thought of wiping down the pots toeliminate fingerprints.He even did the dishes by hand so theywouldn t be in the dishwasher.When the kitchen was restored,he turned around and glimpsed the trees beyond the backyard.David yearned to be out there.This house, with its quietestablished style of living, wasn t what he and Connor wereabout.They didn t belong here.He would rather be outside,running through the woods like the lost boys that they were.He turned to Connor, who was watching him as if waitingfor David to speak his thoughts. Let s go for a walk. 85 Chapter EightShawnee Mission Park functioned as an oasis of nature in aland of strip malls and highways.David and Gordon venturedthere occasionally, most recently after watching YouTube videosof people live action role-playing while dressed up Renaissancestyle.This looked like good nerdy fun, so they had given it ashot.Gordon had been serious about it, but David hadn t beenable to stop laughing, so the expedition hadn t exactly been asuccess.The park spread out around Shawnee Mission Lake, a bodyof water large enough for sailing that took about twenty minutesto circle around at the speed limit.David asked Connor to driveto the mountain bike trails at the northern part of the lake.Pavedpaths for pedestrians existed elsewhere, but David preferred themore natural dirt trails. Last time I was here was with Tommy, Connor said as heparked the car. I let him run all over the paths until he worehimself out.Of course by the time we drove home, he was hyperagain. The parking lot was mostly empty, which meant they wouldhave privacy.David breathed in the fresh air once out of the car,wishing the entire world consisted only of him and Connor.As ifreading his thoughts, Connor took his hand, and when theyreached the shelter of the trees, he stopped David to kiss him.Suddenly David wished they hadn t left his mom s house.As unappealing as that environment had been, at least the houseprovided enough privacy for something more to happen.Theidea intimidated him.He didn t know if Connor had slept withother guys, but David s experience began and ended with kissingConnor.Regardless, he wanted more to happen between them,86 but wished he could take a training course first Gay Sex 101 orsomething.In the green light of the woods, David found himselfrelaxing, feeling like he had escaped into a fairytale where all thetroubles of the real world faded away.The sound of cars recededthe farther they walked, replaced by the bird chatter andcreatures foraging through the underbrush. You like it here, Connor said. Yeah.How d you know? Because you re usually tense, like you re waiting forsomething to explode. David shrugged, embarrassed. I don t mean to look thatway. There s nothing wrong with it.It s just weird since you restrong. David glanced over at Connor in disbelief. I m not strong. Really? Are you ashamed of being gay? David increased his grip on Connor s hand. Not at all! There you go.People are always giving you shit for beinggay, but you re not in the closet, and you don t let them makeyou feel ashamed. They still make me miserable, David said. If I pretendedto be straight, I d be even more unhappy.Believe me, people likeChuck get to me.Sometimes I can barely sleep at night. Connor wasn t willing to give up. Taking all that abusethough, not letting it break you.That s strength. Maybe.Sounds more like endurance to me.This isstrength. David s hand slipped away from Connor s and movedup his bicep.Connor flexed it, and they both laughed, althoughDavid was impressed as well.Their hike continued north, the occasional bicycle riderpassing them.They would step aside to let the rider pass, butnever let go of each other.One biker kept his head forward but87 strained to see out of the corner of his eye as he passed.An hourlater and the paths ended, leaving them to slowly pick their waythrough the trees.They went far enough into the woods thatDavid wondered if they would find their way back again.Finally, the trees gave way to water and they could go no farther.A creek wound through the land, filling the air with burbles.On the other side was a line of trees, beyond which a large openfield was barely visible.They walked along the creek until theyfound a patch of bare earth where they could sit, David s feet hotand sore from the hike.He kicked off his shoes before sittingcross-legged on the ground.As soon as he did, Connor leanedover and plopped his head in his lap, an expectant grin on hisface.He closed his eyes when David began stroking his face,sighing contentedly.David moved his fingers over Connor s cheek bones, toyedwith his ears, and then moved his fingers down to his neck.Thescar was flat, a pinkish-white line running from below his ear tojust above his Adam s apple.Now that David knew the reasonsbehind it weren t sinister, he thought it looked kind of cool. Can I touch it? Connor s eyes shot open, searching David s for a moment. Go ahead.It doesn t hurt. David brushed his finger up and down the scar, stroking it asif he could erase it with his touch [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]