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.“They help you to see, sir?”“I’m afraid not,” Thande said.His gaze swept the room.“The mana in eye of newt is useless for any practical purpose, at least as far as we have been able to determine.Perhaps one of you will become an Alchemy Researcher and discover a use, but right now eyes of newt are useless.Completely useless, unless you want to separate a qualified alchemist from someone who merely brags of his own skills.”He put the decanter down and picked up a small glass jar.This one, as far as Emily could tell, held hair.“Shaved hamster hair,” Thande informed them.The sounds of disgust grew louder.“And what sort of magical powers do they possess?”This time, no one dared answer.“In their natural form, they are poisonous,” Thande said, answering his own question.“But when boiled in water for seventeen hours and combined with a drop of the patient’s blood, they provide an excellent energy boost for a magician who has pushed himself to the limit.”Emily stared at him.What sort of person would shave a hamster and then boil the poor creature’s hair for hours, just to see what would happen? Coming to think of it, how had they even known that something would happen? Her mind spun, making her wish that she’d borrowed a book on Alchemy from the library as well as the spellbooks for self-defense and practical jokes.No wonder science was so badly retarded in this world!“Those of you who are familiar with Basic Charms will know that spells can mutate if they are not defined perfectly,” Thande continued.“The magic in the natural world has mutated, twisted in ways that are difficult to imagine.You may consider Alchemy to be partly about mixing different spells together, but that tends to limit your imagination.Which”–he held up his scarred hand–“can be no bad thing.”His voice sharpened.“There are rules for learning Alchemy and I expect them to be followed to the letter.Those of you who break these rules will be used as test subjects for my experiments, experiments that have been known to get out of control and”–he showed them his hand again–“cause unexpected injury.Anyone who continues to mess around after that clearly has the right attitude to become a Master Alchemist, but you can do your research on top of a mountain or in the middle of a desert.It will be safer for everyone else.“First rule: learn everything you can about Alchemy.” He pointed a scarred finger at Emily.“What happens if you mix cornflower with icing sugar and blow it into a candle?”Emily hesitated.“I don’t know,” she admitted finally.“A very good answer,” Thande said.“Should you ever be in doubt about what will happen when you carry out an experiment, try and look up the answer first.Which, by the way, is a small explosion.” He moved his finger to another boy.“What happens if you mix cat and dog hair together in water and then drink it?”The boy looked around, desperately.“You turn someone into a cat or a dog?”“Wrong,” Thande said.His face darkened.“You make them bark and meow helplessly for several minutes.And, incidentally, it doesn’t work if you only use hair from one animal.”He looked up, glancing from student to student.“Ignorance can kill.If you are in doubt about anything, look it up or ask a trained alchemist.“Second rule: always carry out your experiments behind wards to provide safety.Yes, there are any number of alchemists who lower the wards for more contact with the experiments–and most of them come to regret it, sooner or later.You are all students and while you are studying here you will keep experimental wards up at all times.“In addition to that, you will also confine any experimentation to the warded alchemy rooms.Anyone caught practicing alchemy elsewhere in Whitehall will be severely punished.“Third rule: always cast a testing charm before drinking anything you have produced for yourself.A single mistake can kill you outright.If you’re not confident with the charm, ask one of your classmates to cast it for you.Refusing to cast the charm for one of your fellows, if asked, will also result in severe punishment.”He paused for a moment to allow that to sink in, then continued.“Also, when drinking other potions, it’s a good idea to cast the charm anyway.Some of the newer potion recipes are still producing odd effects if left alone too long.A charm will ensure that it won’t kill you outright.Thande gave them all a commanding stare.“If you are in doubt, ask me or another alchemist.I will not punish anyone for making mistakes, or asking questions, merely for placing their own lives–or that of others–in danger.“Fourth rule: check everything.Alchemy is, in its own way, as precise as anything you might learn in Charms.Now, open your desks.”Emily obeyed, looking down at the small collection of ingredients.“You will see a seal on each of the bags,” Thande said.“That seal belongs to Elmer, one of the apothecaries who works under me.Apothecaries produce materials for alchemists and, once they verify that they are whatever they claim to be, they bag them up and place their seal on them.The seal will vanish if something else is left in the bag for an unwary alchemist, so make sure that it is still there every time you take something from the bag.If the seal vanishes, take the bag to the disposal chamber and throw it out, along with the entire remaining contents.You’re not ready to experiment with materials that may be compromised.“If you don’t use material from an apothecary, check everything; where it comes from, how it was harvested, how it was stored.everything.A single mistake can prove fatal.” He smiled, thinly.“An apothecary who provides bad materials can be executed, if the buyer doesn’t kill him first.Murdering someone who conned an alchemist is perfectly legal throughout the Allied Lands.”Thande snorted.“Oh, and always use natural materials.If you transfigure grass into mandrake root, just because you cannot afford mandrake, the transfigured grass will still have a magical signature that will throw a stone into the alchemical process.That’s a good way to get yourself killed if you’re not careful.“Finally: always–and I mean always–write down what you plan to do beforehand.There are notebooks in your desks; write down the planned experiment and stick to it.While carrying out the experiment, write down what happens; once the experiment is complete, write down what happened afterwards.Do not leave anything out, or someone trying to reproduce your experiment might run into trouble.Far too many alchemical developments have been discovered, lost and then had to be rediscovered because some damned fool of an alchemist didn’t write down what he was doing.”Thande leaned back against his desk and grinned [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.“They help you to see, sir?”“I’m afraid not,” Thande said.His gaze swept the room.“The mana in eye of newt is useless for any practical purpose, at least as far as we have been able to determine.Perhaps one of you will become an Alchemy Researcher and discover a use, but right now eyes of newt are useless.Completely useless, unless you want to separate a qualified alchemist from someone who merely brags of his own skills.”He put the decanter down and picked up a small glass jar.This one, as far as Emily could tell, held hair.“Shaved hamster hair,” Thande informed them.The sounds of disgust grew louder.“And what sort of magical powers do they possess?”This time, no one dared answer.“In their natural form, they are poisonous,” Thande said, answering his own question.“But when boiled in water for seventeen hours and combined with a drop of the patient’s blood, they provide an excellent energy boost for a magician who has pushed himself to the limit.”Emily stared at him.What sort of person would shave a hamster and then boil the poor creature’s hair for hours, just to see what would happen? Coming to think of it, how had they even known that something would happen? Her mind spun, making her wish that she’d borrowed a book on Alchemy from the library as well as the spellbooks for self-defense and practical jokes.No wonder science was so badly retarded in this world!“Those of you who are familiar with Basic Charms will know that spells can mutate if they are not defined perfectly,” Thande continued.“The magic in the natural world has mutated, twisted in ways that are difficult to imagine.You may consider Alchemy to be partly about mixing different spells together, but that tends to limit your imagination.Which”–he held up his scarred hand–“can be no bad thing.”His voice sharpened.“There are rules for learning Alchemy and I expect them to be followed to the letter.Those of you who break these rules will be used as test subjects for my experiments, experiments that have been known to get out of control and”–he showed them his hand again–“cause unexpected injury.Anyone who continues to mess around after that clearly has the right attitude to become a Master Alchemist, but you can do your research on top of a mountain or in the middle of a desert.It will be safer for everyone else.“First rule: learn everything you can about Alchemy.” He pointed a scarred finger at Emily.“What happens if you mix cornflower with icing sugar and blow it into a candle?”Emily hesitated.“I don’t know,” she admitted finally.“A very good answer,” Thande said.“Should you ever be in doubt about what will happen when you carry out an experiment, try and look up the answer first.Which, by the way, is a small explosion.” He moved his finger to another boy.“What happens if you mix cat and dog hair together in water and then drink it?”The boy looked around, desperately.“You turn someone into a cat or a dog?”“Wrong,” Thande said.His face darkened.“You make them bark and meow helplessly for several minutes.And, incidentally, it doesn’t work if you only use hair from one animal.”He looked up, glancing from student to student.“Ignorance can kill.If you are in doubt about anything, look it up or ask a trained alchemist.“Second rule: always carry out your experiments behind wards to provide safety.Yes, there are any number of alchemists who lower the wards for more contact with the experiments–and most of them come to regret it, sooner or later.You are all students and while you are studying here you will keep experimental wards up at all times.“In addition to that, you will also confine any experimentation to the warded alchemy rooms.Anyone caught practicing alchemy elsewhere in Whitehall will be severely punished.“Third rule: always cast a testing charm before drinking anything you have produced for yourself.A single mistake can kill you outright.If you’re not confident with the charm, ask one of your classmates to cast it for you.Refusing to cast the charm for one of your fellows, if asked, will also result in severe punishment.”He paused for a moment to allow that to sink in, then continued.“Also, when drinking other potions, it’s a good idea to cast the charm anyway.Some of the newer potion recipes are still producing odd effects if left alone too long.A charm will ensure that it won’t kill you outright.Thande gave them all a commanding stare.“If you are in doubt, ask me or another alchemist.I will not punish anyone for making mistakes, or asking questions, merely for placing their own lives–or that of others–in danger.“Fourth rule: check everything.Alchemy is, in its own way, as precise as anything you might learn in Charms.Now, open your desks.”Emily obeyed, looking down at the small collection of ingredients.“You will see a seal on each of the bags,” Thande said.“That seal belongs to Elmer, one of the apothecaries who works under me.Apothecaries produce materials for alchemists and, once they verify that they are whatever they claim to be, they bag them up and place their seal on them.The seal will vanish if something else is left in the bag for an unwary alchemist, so make sure that it is still there every time you take something from the bag.If the seal vanishes, take the bag to the disposal chamber and throw it out, along with the entire remaining contents.You’re not ready to experiment with materials that may be compromised.“If you don’t use material from an apothecary, check everything; where it comes from, how it was harvested, how it was stored.everything.A single mistake can prove fatal.” He smiled, thinly.“An apothecary who provides bad materials can be executed, if the buyer doesn’t kill him first.Murdering someone who conned an alchemist is perfectly legal throughout the Allied Lands.”Thande snorted.“Oh, and always use natural materials.If you transfigure grass into mandrake root, just because you cannot afford mandrake, the transfigured grass will still have a magical signature that will throw a stone into the alchemical process.That’s a good way to get yourself killed if you’re not careful.“Finally: always–and I mean always–write down what you plan to do beforehand.There are notebooks in your desks; write down the planned experiment and stick to it.While carrying out the experiment, write down what happens; once the experiment is complete, write down what happened afterwards.Do not leave anything out, or someone trying to reproduce your experiment might run into trouble.Far too many alchemical developments have been discovered, lost and then had to be rediscovered because some damned fool of an alchemist didn’t write down what he was doing.”Thande leaned back against his desk and grinned [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]